All of us are unique - living in our own slice of the
world
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to be absolute. Let's decision these slices Reality-Slices, as a result of that
sounds very neat. Reality-Slices are a touch like multiple dimensions inside the
identical house, conveniently allotted to every human therefore they get to feel
important they need their own little bit of Reality-Slice estate.When
Reality-Slices intersect as folks come back together head-on, there is some
friction. We call this conflict. When the Reality-Slices are aligned a small
amount better, we have a tendency to call that collaboration.Conflict is not the
other of Collaboration. In many cases, it's merely an earlier stage within the
relationship. Bear in mind the storming stage in teams?It will currently not be
a surprise to you that there are typically two sorts of conflict:Do not be like
this - connected to others having a problem with who we have a tendency to
areDon't do that - connected to others having a problem with what we do or how
we have a tendency to do itIf you're still surprised that these are the sole two
types of conflict, go back to the start of this section to browse the primary
few lines again.AvoidanceSo the question is: if conflict is thus commonplace and
natural, why do we tend to skirt around conflict and avoid it just like the
plague? Well
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wish to get rid of the mask - when there is conflict, the friction will generate
feelings of resentment, irritation and rejection. Rather than disclosing such
real feelings, individuals tend to either avoid the conflict scenario or pretend
all is ok and underneath control. In some cases, folks use withdrawal to defend
themselves.-You do not wish negative consequences - folks worry that conflict
and conflict escalation may cause damage to a relationship, to organization
morale, to the standing quo. A lot of importantly, this would possibly then
cause negative personal consequences. In organizations
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avoid confronting staff on performance issues because they do not wish to wreck
the relationship or their po[censored] rity as a manager. There's conjointly
this worry that the conflict may fire up a hornet's nest of other
issues.Conflict TriggersKnowing that conflict is caused by friction between
Reality-Slices could be a helpful beginning insight however it is now time to
appear at more closely at the surface where the friction takes place - zooming
in on the precise triggers of conflict.Let's return to the basic types of
conflict:a) Don't be like thisHere the most conflict triggers are Expectations
of Behavior and Expectation of Values. Examples of this are "You're not the
person I was hoping you'd be" or "I felt you'd be somebody who understands the
worth of your time however I'm really disappointed". We have a tendency to
really want different folks to behave as we have a tendency to would want them
to and to adopt a persona that we have a tendency to craft for them. After they
do not, we get upset.b) Do not try thisTypically the main conflict triggers here
are primarily based on Expectations of Process and Expectations of Results.
Examples of this are "I asked you to place along a report based mostly on
demographics; why did you employ a geographic perspective?" or "well the
immediate financials are vital except for heaven's sake when are we have a
tendency to going to seem at the bigger image". You see, folks derive their
sense of how a method should work and where it leads to from the vantage purpose
of their own Reality-Slice. This could result in differences in perspective and
vision - the road-of-sight from my vantage purpose within the organization (say
in HR) might be very completely different from the road-of-sight for one more
person (say in Finance).Bottom Line - The So-What?Conflict is commonplace -
browse this article and perceive it. Whenever there's risk or occurrence of
conflict, use your knowledge of the key conflict triggers to allow individuals
to adopt postures that lead to higher alignment of Reality-Slices.So for
instance, when building a team, to reduce the possibility of unnecessary
friction, your most vital work can be defining expectations of behavior,
values
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all you needed to know regarding conflict management - Let us hope it can be
enough for the subsequent conflict... Jeff Hunt has been writing articles online
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