锘? If you're like me
Geneo
Grissom Jersey , this Sunday you will attend a Super Bowl party
where you are faced with two distinct choices:
1) Pay attention to
America's Other Favorite Past-time, "foot"-ball (the first is shopping!); chat
with the guys about all the home runs they're throwing; and toss that ol'
hogskin around the backyard.
2) Watch the commercials with all the other
"foot"-ball neophytes, which is equally ridiculous. Commercials are
entertainment? What? Maybe afterwards we can go to a museum and look at Sunday
sales circulars!
So in recent years, I've opted for a third choice: gorge
myself like silly there went that "Tight End!" put on headphones and do my best
to ignore as much of the proceedings as possible. (I spent 1997's Super Bowl
party in the bathroom after my Discman's batteries died thank God for the iPod!)
As a result, I've become quite the expert at faking my way through Super Bowl
Sunday with a special playlist and little-known sports
factoids.
PREGAME
The Pixies, "Here Comes Your Man"
The first
thing to know about the Super Bowl: who's bringing the burgers? LOL. Seriously
though
Jordan
Richards Jersey , you need to know who is playing the game. This
year it's the New England Patriots who have never lost a game since football was
invented, and the New York Giants who have the cuter Manning brother (see I know
some stuff!). And so in honor of the Patriots we have the Boston band the Pixies
doing "Here Comes Your Man." I have a dance planned for this one. Do the
Patriots need an extra cheerleader? LOL.
Art Garfunkel, "Crying in the
Rain"
But you can't be too one-sided! You never know which team's uniforms
you are going to like more, so you can't play favorites. So in honor of that
famous New York City toughness and determination, we have to pick Art Garfunkel,
whose no-holds-barred collaboration with James Taylor on "Crying in the Rain"
really expresses what football is all about: being man enough to cry in the
rain. Or score touch downs. They're both kinda the same thing.
Lee
Greenwood
Malcom
Brown Jersey , "God Bless the USA"
By this point that guy from
the Ace Hardware commercials is probably done blabbing and so it's time for the
national anthem. Boooo-ring! Seriously, if you aren't Whitney Houston in 1991,
why even try? I've always liked "God Bless the USA" much more, so I listen to
that instead. Holla!
FIRST HALF
Dios Malos, "Starting
Five"
Okay, you got me! This one is only "foot"-ball related in the
title
Joe Thuney
Jersey , but I'm so sick of hearing everyone debating during the
game: "Who has the better starting five is it the Yankees or the Celtics or the
59rs or blah blah blah blah." Who cares! And so this song, so awesome and sweet
and just soooo California, is my own gorgeous little protest. Also "dios" means
days. Did you know that? It's Espanol!
American Football, "I'll See You
When We're Both Not So Emotional"
American Football is a group formed by star
quarterback-turned actor Joe Mantegna after poor night vision forced a premature
departure from the game. Bummer! He didn't do it alone, though; that galloping
bass you hear? That's legendary Pelicans running man Terry Bradshaw. Who's
wielding that mighty axe? None other than Peyton Manning (and let's put a little
extra emphasis on "Man"). And he used to bang pigskin, but now he bangs
drumskins: let's give it up for Vince Lobotomy!
HALFTIME IS
GAMETIME
Kutiman
Jacoby
Brissett Jersey , "Music Is Ruling My Life"
Yeah! As the awesome
flick Drumline says: "halftime IS gametime," and so it's time to bust out the
biggest gun of them all: "Music Is Ruling My Life," which kinda sounds like Amy
Wine-O (LOL) only it's some Israeli dude and Israeli chick and they are awesome.
Seriously, this is the best song ever! It's the Super Bowl of music! Oh, and
factoid alert! One of my favorite rappers ever used to be a "foot"-ball player:
that's right, of course I'm talking about Deion Sanders. So
obvious!
Black Heart Procession
Cyrus Jones
Jersey , "You Got Lucky"
While Tom (NOT VERY) P(R)etty is
crowing away about "oppression" or "the radio" or "the free falling" on an
enormous stage, you can be enjoying a little stage I like to call "the stage of
transcendence." San Diego's gloomy Black Hearts (not to be confused with last
year's Super Bowl victors of the same name), treat this song right, pushing it
into the "great wide open" like a couple of "refugee"s "running down a dream." I
guess you could say we all "got lucky" with this one!
SECOND
HALF
Pavement, "Major Leagues"
Taken from what most people regard as
their best record is Stevie Malkmus & Co's touching tribute to Major League
Football. But wait! Why does Stevie sound so glum? Maybe because he's hot and we
don't know each other yet! Really, though
Rob
Ninkovich Jersey , Steve is a big sports fan for realsies and so
that's where I'll be for next year's big contest. I've got the plastic-tipped
cigars, Mr. Pavement. Do you have smooches?
The Walkmen, "The
Rat"
This has kinda become the sports song, which is awesome! Maybe I do like
sports after all! They always use this when they're transitioning into
commercials, and it's totally cool because it's such a pump-you-up kinda song. I
can't even kid about this one!
I think this is the part of the game
where they have the horses come out on the field? Or was that earlier? Did I
miss that!?!?!
POST-GAME CELEBRATING
The Decemberists, "The
Sporting Life"
Oh indie rockers! So cute when you suck at sports. This song
by Colin Meloy who I've heard plays a mean four square! is for all of you.
And
John Hannah
Jersey , if my instinct is correct, both Ronald Moss and Michael
Vick! "The Sporting Life" is about a kid who plays "foot"-ball in high school
and who is terrible and gets all sad about it. Don't cry cute jock boy! By the
wa锘? Golfing with your kids is a lot different than.