My Mothers Garden plus articles and information on Inspirational I love to talk
about Purposeful Living with others and share how it's affected my life. But
sometimes when I get to the part about doing what you need to do my listeners
eyes glaze over and I know I've lost them. I get the response that it doesn't
seem like much "fun" to find your purpose and do what you need to do. In
fact
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online , it sounds rather Calvinistic. It sounds like trudging
uphill in the rain with your head down ? oblivious to your surroundings.
"Where's the joy?", someone asked once. "What about fun and having a good
time?". I never really knew how to respond except to assure my listener that I
do have a lot of fun and I enjoy getting my purpose acplished. So far I haven't
been very convincing. Next time I'll tell them about my mother's garden. It was
in the North of England where I grew up. It probably wasn't particularly
beautiful by objective standards but it was Heaven to me. As soon as the
temperature climbed out of the fifties I'd rush out into the brief English
summer and throw a bedspread on the grass. We were on the Coast so the clouds
were always fantastically shaped and fast-moving and I would lie on my back
looking up at them and daydreaming. If we were lucky and our timing was right we
could sometimes get a tan as long as we were mindful about turning over
frequently. A big mistake in an English Summer was to tan on one side and assume
you'd do the other side the next day. Invariably that would be the last sunny
day for months and your skin would be striped red, brown and white like a
Neapolitan ice cream. Always, too, in the Summer there was the inevitable litter
of puppies rolling around from whichever mutt we had at the time. As a single
parent, my mother worked most of the time. When she did I was a latchkey kid.
When she was between jobs I loved spending time with her in the garden. She may
have missed cleaning the house some days but she never neglected her garden. She
daren't. We needed the vegetables. She had planted strawberries, blackcurrants,
gooseberries and rhubarb. Our vegetables were potatoes, of course,
cabbages
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espa?a , lettuce, carrots and all the root veggies you needed to
get through a long winter. We had flowers, too. There were hydrangea, her prized
roses and a wild, flowering lilac tree. But it was the vegetables we prized
most. I loved the Summers when we were home together. As the baby of the family
I spent much of my time with her. While my brother and sister were off doing
whatever teenagers did in the North of England in the sixties my mother and I
would traipse out to the garden in the morning and stay there till nightfall.
Because we were so far North it was light until 10 "o" clock at night. The
evening light had a thin, clear quality to it. Each evening the stars came out
while the sky was still light. I couldn't have guessed that I would one day live
in a part of the world where this wouldn't happen. We always had an old
transister radio with us. We worked, for the most part, in harmony and silence.
We listened to the BBC all day long. Each afternoon there was an orginal one
hour play then serializations of classics such as Great Expectations or Les
Miserables which left you hanging from day to day. There was Woman's Hour,
endless quiz and edy shows and, of course
nike
roshe run baratas , The Archers " - an everyday story of country
folk." We would weed our way down the rows of cabbages, aerating as we went. The
soil was rich and dark and it never would have ourred to us to fertilize it.
Looking back I wonder what we did out there all day. There couldn't have been
that much yard work to do ? but somehow we made it last until well into the
evening. Sometimes we'd pull some rhubarb and my mother would take it into the
house and simmer it with a little honey and cinnamon until it was a fragrant
puree and we'd eat it warm with ice cream. Last week I was sick. I invariably
considered illness to be a character defect but this time I was pletely without
energy. My body was taking no nonsense and was clearly admonishing me that it
couldn't clean my house; make my writing deadlines AND get rid of the virus. I
decided to take to my bed for an entire day and give it time to do its thing. It
rained the whole day ? the tail end of a monsoon-like system peculiar to
California. Ordinarily, I have a great view of snow-capped mountains. But this
day I could barely see to the end of my garden which was misty and grey all day.
The air deadened sound contributing to my feeling of being cocooned. Too tired
even to read, I turned up the heat and brought my laptop to bed. These days you
can stream BBC radio live over the inter. And I did. I burrowed down as far as I
could and drifted in and out of sleep as the radio played. I listened to a play
about a woman Victorian private detective and discovered a new satirical radio
blog. There were also quizzes and edy shows from my childhood played in that
curiously British vaudeville style. I dozed and listened as memories of my
childhood summers washed over me. I could almost smell the lilacs. The next day
was dry and clear. Bored with lying in bed all day I was grateful for action.
The rest had done me good. It ourred to me that I had been sensible and had done
exactly what I needed to do. My purpose had been to rest to heal myself. I'd
acplished that. It also ourred to me that the radio had been pure pleasure which
I had layered on top of my purpose. I realized, then, that the discovery and
implementation of purpose was not just an end to itself but also a foundation on
which I could add actions and feelings and, yes, fun which could enrich my own
life and nurture others. It was the opposite of my efforts to peel away the
additional, man-made suffering from the inevitable suffering of everyday